Death - Pierce Me

Have you ever felt depressed? More properly, have you ever ‘had’ depression? Have you had months-long periods in your life that you can barely remember because they were mostly absorbed by sitting in your bedroom, trying to figure out how to leave and be ‘normal’ for a moment? I’m not talking about a brief period of intense depression caused by the death of a loved one, of a long-term relationship falling apart, or any other transitory factor: I mean the sort of pathological bleakness that starts in your brainstem and travels down to your soul, to the point where there’s brief periods in the day where you know (don’t think, know) that suicide is the only answer. Days where the temptation to leave a corpse for others to find and the very act of looking in the mirror is so primally revolting you can barely do it. Days where you sicken yourself just by existing and when sitting in your car you want to start pulling off strips of skin simply because you can’t be yourself and exist anymore. It’s hard to describe what something like this feels like to someone who’s been fortunate enough not to feel it- the very idea that the self no longer makes sense and you spend most of your time in a dream world of total, all-encompassing self-hatred and suffering.

I ask all these questions because Silencer is one of the only bands that I’ve heard who capture depression as it actually is. Not a romantic sorrow, not something passionate and artistic, but the greyness of living in that mental state, where sadness eventually gets overwhelmed by sheer tiredness, resignation, and regret that you ever existed. There’s a potent mixture of insane rage and equally insane self-destruction in this music that I think only really resonates with people who have been there before (and not even all the time, at that). It’s a product of a very peculiar mixture of neurological chemicals and environmental suffering, and Silencer captures exactly what it’s like to feel it. Not really sad, not crying, not even wishing for another life, but just sitting on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, looking out the window, and not thinking because it hurts too much even to think. It’s horribly negative music that I have no doubt has inspired more than a few desperate bids for salvation at the bottom of a pill bottle.

Full review can be found here.

Silencer was probably one of the most famous Depressive Black Metal bands. Death - Pierce Me is their only album because shortly after it was released, vocalist Nattramn was institutionalized in a psychiatric ward. And listening to the album, I wouldn’t be surprised.

I’m not saying I enjoyed it. But it gets to me. It really does. I started listening in the middle of the night and it haunted me. That voice.. Oh that voice…

We’re Never Gonna Get Over This…

fuckyeahkamelot:

menshevixen:

Step 1: Go to Kamelot Wikipedia page to check release date of Epica.

Step 2: See Roy Khan listed under “Past Members.”

Step 3:

:(

I Don’t Know How To Watch Movies Anymore.

Not the way people do it these days anyway. Story? What story? Oh the whole point was about [insert actor’s or actress’ name]! He/she was totally gorgeous! Plot? You mean the plot of land he/she was standing on when doing that thing in that scene? Yessss, the whole background and scenery just really served to bring out the awesomeness in him/her.

I can’t.. I just don’t… Oh god.

I went to watch The Avengers with some girls who’ve probably never read a Marvel comic in their lives but somehow couldn’t wait for the movie to come out, and afterwards when I asked them how they felt about it, all they could squeal was “Robert Downey/Tom Hiddleston/Some Other Person is sooo hot!”

Well, that’s new. They just spent the last few months following news about him, looking at pictures of him on the internet and in magazines, and watching videos of him doing interviews and what not on youtube. Surely, surely, they must have come to that conclusion long before now. Or were they perhaps too insecure about their standards of ‘hotness’ and just had to watch him magnified on a humongous screen in a movie cinema before they could declare how hot he is as an unassailable fact?

I sought enlightenment with them, but they were intelligent enough to identify sarcasm and were not impressed.

Samuel L. Jackson was wearing a black eyepatch? Who cares, nobody bothers to notice such small details. He’s black, the eyepatch’s black, it probably camouflaged. But did you see how Loki blinked twice within a second in such glee when he picked up the metal stick thing? And gosh, that lovely scene when he was kept in the containment room in that giant machine castle flying in the air, I think they raised it up by magic right?

The Marvel universe is full of totally imba shit. 

Like Proteus, who can manipulate and alter reality. Or Apocalype, who has a whole load of powers and abilities, including full control over the molecules in his body, which allows him to give or shape his body into anything. Also incredibly clever, and immortal.

But really, these whole load of people don’t matter.

Coz these bad-asses have more power than the whole of Marvel. They hold the might of fandoms.

And yes, I know. I am socially inept. People are going to look at me in disgust and go, “Go read a book, you nerd.” Sigh I probably should.

deanleysen:

To future generations: we’re sorry we took all available usernames on the internet. Good luck being John13935017501Fzet.

I Give You This Orange

As famously translated into legal jargon by James D. Gordon III:

Know all men by these presents that I hereby give, grant, bargain, sell, release, convey, transfer and quitclaim all my right, title, interest, benefit and use whatever in, of and concerning this chattel, otherwise known as an orange, or citrus orantium, together with all the appurtenances thereto of skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds and juice, to have and to hold the said orange together with its skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds and juice for his own use and behoof, to himself and his heirs in fee simple forever, free from all liens, encumbrances, easements, limitations, restraints or constraints or conditions whatsoever, and all prior deeds, transfers or other documents whatsoever, now or anywhere made to the contrary notwithstanding, with full power to bite, cut, suck or otherwise eat the said orange or to give away the same, with or without its skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds or juice.

Study law. Oh yes, this is going to be easy.